How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text – The Key Steps

Ok lets discuss how to go about flirting with a girl over text. You need to understand that for the most part you will always be flirting with her. Even if the topic itself is not of a flirty nature the underlying psychological principles of flirting will still be at work.

How To Flirt With A Girl Over Text


Text Flirting Mindset

Lead the Dance

As a man its essentially your role to lead the interaction and take control most of the time. You don’t want to come off as a control freak but you also don’t want to look indecisive or unsure of yourself. Be the leader.


Be Non Needy

be non needyThere is a reason why 10% of the guys get 90% of the girls, and one of those crucial factors is neediness. Remember you need to give off the vibe that you are a non needy male.  Before even messaging this girl I want you to completely release your attachments to the outcome. You need to constantly be giving off the vibe that you have many friends, girls, and people in your life, and if it doesn’t work out with her you wont be too bothered. Be careful to not confuse this with arrogance or cockiness, you are simply just a social guy who’s on the go, not a douche bag.


Act Familiar

You need to go into the conversation as if you are already close friends with this girl. The conversation for the most part should always be light and playful, it should never be serious unless the topic is of a serious nature.  Most of all avoid coming off like an interviewer, constantly asking questions. Think about how you act with your mates, you guys don’t sit there asking questions back and forth. You have a healthy balance between statements and questions.


non reactiveBe Non-Reactive

Remember to take note of this it is crucial — let me say that again, this is crucial. Being reactive is one of the fastest ways to make her want to get rid of you. Don’t take stuff personal and allow your emotions to get the best of you.




Flirty Things To Text A Girl

These techniques are known to trigger some very powerful psychological attraction switches. String some of these together and these can be some of the best flirt lines you can on a woman.



The human brain is known for linking made up events similar to real events that take place between people. When you recall a relationship with another person you are simply recalling the memories that both of you shared. Whether they are made up or real, memories are still memories.

Therefore roleplaying can be a great way to build rapport, attraction, familiarity and to flirt.

Example: “hey wifey wanna come get a coffee with me?”

This creates a lot of comfort with a women and you can alter your role plays to make them exciting, adventurous, romantic or sexual. You can also make them brief  or string them out over a long period of time.

I once got a older women’s number from a bar on the way out and wanted to see how far I could stretch a text roleplay with her before it got too heated for her. It ended up going for an hour and in the story I was boinking her in a mansion while the maid was getting off.

To build even more attraction you can make it appear as if the girl is chasing you through misdirection:

Girl: “im so excited for the dinner im making, i’ve got candles, wine and everything :)”

You: “that sounds awesome but you spoil me way to much, just dinner would have been fine :)”


Tease Her

Light and silly teasing every once in a while can make for great flirty text messages to send to a girl. Teasing her/lightly busting her balls shows her that you aren’t the typical beta male who puts girls up on pedestals; that instead you see her as an equal. Be sure to incorporate these.

Her: “how about we meet up at 3”

You: “no thats wayy to early, I dont wanna be stuck with you all day…lets do 3:03 :-)”


Mirror Her

flirty texts to send a girlThis simply technique can be extremely powerful, and is one of the best things you can take away from this article.

Picture a situation where a guy is putting in work, using fun interesting messages, and then the girl simply replies with one word responses. This would drive you nuts and if the conversation kept going like this your value would start to lower.

In every interaction the person who says or writes the most is the person putting in the most work. The person putting in the most work is the person most invested. Finally the person most invested is the person who is “chasing” the other person.

If the girl is responding with shorter replies than yours, be sure that you equally match or even slightly lower your response lengths in comparison to hers. Whoever, appears to be investing more into the conversation is the one who is chasing.

Don’t be a chaser, this will turn the girl off. But also be sure too use common sense, if shes putting in a lot of work don’t be an arse hole and reply with “ya’s” and “k”, or she will just think you’re a dick.

Natasha: “there’s so many good movies I wanna watch that we should totally see together next time we meet up :)”

Chris: “sounds like a plan”

Natasha: “okay we’ll totally do that next time I’m in town, we need to get some wine too, do you have a favorite?

Chris: “As long as it’s not white wine, I’m good”

You can see how if this conversation continued like this, anyone who was reading this would clearly interpret Natasha is the one chasing.


Mirror Her Style

In conjunction with mirroring her text lengths you should also be mirroring her writing style. If she uses a lot of emoticons and smiley faces, use a lot of them as well. If she typically writes haha rather than lol at the end of a sentence structure your replies as similar.

Mirroring her style in this way will build a huge amount of rapport at an unconscious level. She won’t know why but she will start too feel more and more connected with you. She will begin to enjoy your texts and the sense of familiarity will grow. This can be build huge levels of comfort and attraction over time. Afterwards you can then check out how to turn a girl on over text.


Just remember what I’ve said the next time you are thinking of how to flirt with a girl over text. String a couple, or all of these together during your next conversation and let the results speak for themselves.


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