Starting a text conversation with a girl is one of the most important things to make sure that you get right.
It is where everything starts from.
It is where that first and important initial impression is made that lays down the foundation for the rest of the conversation.
Know that too many poorly constructed first texts can make the girl associate you as someone she doesn’t want to talk to.
So getting this correct is imperative.
The good news is that getting this correct is actually one of the easiest parts in all of texting.
In this article I will be going over how to craft great first messages that both set you apart from the generic norm of typical boring guys, as well as how to instantly establish yourself as someone of value.
But before you get into this article on exactly how and when to send those first texts you should also be sure to check out my article on what to text a girl you just met. Which goes over the mindset, actions, and what not to do when texting her.
This is crucial for texting success whether that be for a girlfriend or to get laid.
Best Time To Text A Girl
Knowing the best time to text a girl is something you need to know before you even decide what to text her.
Simply put getting this right is crucial.
Messaging her too many times when she is busy like during work, class, or when shes otherwise occupied is not a good idea.
Do this too many times and she will start to associate you as that guys that’s always there at the wrong time.
Regardless of how great your texts may be, if she cant type then she cant type, and forcing her to do so will just make her slowly grow annoyed with you.
The good news is that figuring out the best time to message her is just a matter of figuring out roughly how her daily schedule is.
For example I had a girl who worked night shifts as a receptionist. For this girl the best time to text her was between the hours of 11pm – 4am because those hours are extremely slow for business. She was frequently sitting there bored.
Usually the best times are during her lunch break, in the evening, or any other free time she has.
Just be sure to figure this out.
How To Start Texting A Girl
Now that you know when to actually text her — lets go over what you should actually be saying.
When sending your first text to a girl your initial instincts are to probably send a message like “hey, whatsup?”
And while this can obviously work it is not the best way to go about doing so.
Sure if she really likes you shes going to respond to that, hell, shes going to respond to anything that you write if she really likes you.
You could send a random word or letter and you’ll see what I mean.
But the whole point of this site isnt how to text a girl that already likes you. Rather it is how to make a girl like you through texting.
So why not make your first text better than what 95% of the other guys are sending her, and get an edge right off the bat.
Yet when guys are sending texts to girls they almost always just ask questions. “How was your day?”, “Whats going on?”, etc.
By always asking her questions you are coming off generic, but you are also always putting the ball in her court.
You’re not really giving any value here are you.
Instead your hoping that she will do the work and reply with something interesting that you can then latch onto and expand upon.
The problem is a lot of times you’ll receive another low value pointless response like “nm u?”
This shit sucks and is lame. Its a recipe for boredom and a pattern you dont want to associate yourself with.
Instead mix up your text openers by adding in interesting stuff using statements.
They can be about anything really.
Such as something situational, something interesting that just happened to you, something humorous, etc. The point is just send something that would entice her to respond.
“Wow, just headed over to get a sub and there are two girls ripping each others hair out on the streets. Its like an episode of Jerry Springer out here!”.
That was just an example I made up on the spot, but don’t you think she’s going to respond to that over some other guy that you’re competing with thats been sending “hey whats up” every single day?
Of course she is.
And also notice a little subtle psychology is going on here.
You are telling her whats going on. You are not asking her. The ball is in your court, your calling the shots.
This over the course of time and a lot of texts is something powerful that she will subconsciously pick up on as she associates you as an alpha male.
Alpha males tell girls whatsup, they don’t ask. Haha
Crafting the Perfect Text Opener
Now that you know about using statements it doesn’t mean that you have to avoid asking her question altogether.
In fact just displaying statements all the time will probably be a bad idea. Instead balance the two.
But rather than asking her generic questions that every other chump is doing — lets give her something that is fun and actually makes her want to respond.
Lets take “hey whatsup?” for example.
Turn it into a more playful sentence like “hey what kind of trouble are you getting into today?”
This is more fun, playful, and its also just a little bit cocky too.
A timid guy that provides no value would not send her something like this.
Use of Nicknames
Using nicknames to start a text is also a great option because it uses things like callback humor and familiarity.
If you haven’t given her a nickname yet you should. It’s playful, fun, a little cocky, and adapts to that treating you like my little sister mentality.
Again something a low value timid or generic male would not really do.
An example of combining a nickname and question for a first text could be something such as, “hey dorkface what kind of trouble are you getting into today?”
You can also use cute nicknames that maybe were the result of something you did together or texted prior.
That way when you use it in a text opener it will instantly cause her to remember the positive feelings she previously shared with you as she remembers the meaning behind the cute nickname.
A while back I used a variation of this hot Ukrainian girl who I eventually ended up dating for a bit.
Instead of always calling her by her western name sometimes I would use her name in her mother tongue to greet her.
Since I was the only one who called her this besides her mother, it was just a nice little touch to distinguish me from the other 12 guys who were messaging her.
What If She Messages You First
If she messages you first you can still follow the same protocal as above.
However, since she is most likely not a savvy texter like you she may just ask “whats up”, “hows your day going”, etc.
A good tip I constantly mention throughout this site is to give off the vibe that you are constantly in demand and lead an exciting lifestyle.
So when she messages you something like that make sure that more times than not you are out on the go — just got in the door — at a friends house (girl or guy), or somewhere else that a social in demand guy may be.
Don’t always be just at home, work, etc.
Remember you can fake it till you make it.
All of these things will paint the picture that you are a social, fun, flirty, non-generic guys who leads an exciting life. This is what will make you more desirable in her eyes.
- Know when the best times are to text her
- Use statements to entice a better response and to seperate yourself from the norm
- Make your statements situational, interesting, entertaining, funny, etc
- Use a healthy blend of statements and questions
- Craft your questions to be less generic and more interesting
- Use cute, light hearted, memorable, or relevant nicknames that she’ll respond too
- More times than not appear to be on to go and otherwise in the middle of an interesting lifestyle
Add these all up and you’ll start the conversation with the other guys already not having a chance.